Thoughts on…

Mukha kang nanay.

Hindi ka mukhang nanay.

What does that even mean for someone who really is a mom?

I have been the target of both reactions and I do not know what to feel about it. It’s not because of what it means for me but the general connotation of “being a nanay”. Does it imply derogatory physical qualities? Or an exceptionally good nurturing attributes?

Most people would say it means the predisposition of being fat, older, “losyang”, and letting herself go.  I know many moms will have broken hearts when they hear this.  They would immediately say “I have to go on a diet!” but others will just shrug and let it pass but still hurt a little.  We are all women and we want to look our best.  Who doesn’t? We do age, have slow metabolism, have other priorities, have problems and responsibilities.

On the other hand, not looking like a mom is a huge compliment. Something that every mother would want to hear, including myself. It means I’m still young, pretty, and presentable. But does it help the image? Are they thinking that I spend more time taking care of myself over my child? Do I lack the sweetness, the nurturing quality that mothers have? and honestly, I would rather look bad but make my daughter look good than the other way around.

I was a very vain person when I was growing up. It would really take time putting together something to wear even if I would go do errands. I would match everything and make myself presentable. Now, I can go out wearing a housedress and I would really not care. In a way I feel empowered that I have transcended the level that I have to look good all the time. Ofcourse I do wear accordingly but it is nice knowing that I can dress comfortably ergo sloppily as often as I deem appropriate.

I can only hope that when I hear the phrase “Mukha kang Nanay” I would associate it with words such as hardworking, compasionate, loving, and sensitive regardless of her size. I would think of wrinkles and gray hairs representing problems that was solved, eyebags with sleepless nights taking care of her child that was sick, or body fat for doing chores and other things for her family than going to the gym.

N: Iya gusto mo ba payat si nanay?

I: Yes
N: Gusto mo ba mataba si nanay?
I: Gusto ko nanay lang.
She just wants me to be me. I guess I am already perfect. So why stress about what others think? I’m sure your child thinks you are perfect too.
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