Letting Go

Summer was about to end then. And like all students who wanted to make the most of summer, Iya was not an exception.  She has been clamoring to go on vacation to Cavite and Tayabas.  It was only a week away from June 10 which was the official start of classes.  It would be selfish of me to prevent her from having fun before school so I doubled as the lawyer/ good will ambassador to champion her cause.  We won so she was not with me for a week. 
I missed her.  That part is always a given.  But my thoughts also shifted to wow! I can do whatever I want! which was very confusing.  And even if I want to be with her, I never thought of cutting her trip short just to make me feel better.  Her being away occasionally is healthy for both of us.  It prevents me from smothering her with my presence and lets her be somewhat less attached to me to test things out for herself.  I am also preparing (in small doses) for the cycle that kids will eventually leave and I should be able to compose myself when that happens. 
When I was a kid, my brother and I always stayed in the province every summer.  Being away made me miss my parents to the point of crying every night but I learned how to deal with it.  I also learned many things such as how to occupy myself with a book or other activities. I learned countless Filipino games with our neighbors and cousins.  I was able to play street games like patintero and tumbang preso from dusk until dawn.  We hiked to the farm, climbed trees, swam in the lake, drank water from the spring while the adults do their thing.  I learned how to eat noodles on a banana leaf without utensils for merienda.  I was able to try my hand into making a sambalilo with my inana.  It was there where I learned to read tagalog by renting funny comics from the store.  I tasted all the candies, ice candies, and junkfood that we do not normally buy.  I was an expert with plastic bubbles, bubbles from gumamela, and bubbles for the bath tub.  I was able to memorize our town at the back of my hand.  Good summer memories.
I do hope she can make her own adventures and not get stuck watching cable.

Me:  Ma-mmiss kita, Ma-mmiss mo ba ko?

Iya:  Yes… pero di ako iiyak.

and she said this to make me feel better

Iya:  Kapag miss kita, sasabihin ko kay lola na text ka.

Me:  Text ako? para tawagan kita?

Iya:  Yes.


2 thoughts on “Letting Go

  1. Ang sweet naman ng conversation niyo…

    Nanay, nakaka-inggit naman ang childhood mo. I only read about those in books and in your blog! Hahaha! I had a very grown up childhood e. Weird talaga ako, or kaya ako weird ngayon.


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